teacher: your homework will only have 4 problems!
homework: 1a 1b 1c 1d 1e 2a 2b 2c 2d 2e 3a 3b 3c 3d 3e 4a 4b 4c 4d 4e
Plus, I follow back. (:
No, friendship is NOT about “supporting your friends even when you know they’re wrong.”
That’s not friendship. That’s being an enabler. That’s being an accomplice.
Friendship is loving someone enough to tell them to stop being a goddamn idiot before they ruin their lives.
my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”
and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered
"Maybe i need to use the sleep"
when someone drags you and you dont have time to deal with their irrelevant ass
So fucking powerful.
Fucking this man
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
becoming a parent means being the one to get the wasp out of the room and idk if i’m prepared to do that
take your smileys from normal to unsettling in one easy step by putting just a little too much effort into the eyes
Why doesn’t my boyfriend send me texts like these?
What I need this omg
what do you mean a thesaurus isnt a dinosaur
*moaning* what’s ur credit card number
Putting on makeup is such a spiritual experience I watch myself go from a 3 to a 9 right in front of my mirror I love it
no, if you are putting on makeup, I don’t care who you are or what you look like, you go from about a 10 to 1
keep talking shit you gonna go from a basic ass 2 to a 6-feet-under